Ten Things My Son Knows

1. Owls speak with an English accent.
2. Show cows can burp more loudly than pigs.
3. Chimney sweeps are lucky as lucky can be.
4. Buzzards eat five fish heads a day.
5. You've got to have buttons if you're a moose.
6. It's a jolly holiday with Mary.
7. In the ice age, there were sabre-toothed squirrels.
8. Cement mixers listen to disco on their headphones.
9. Little engines can do big things.
10. Kuzco is king of the world and Tom Jones is his theme-song guy.

Is it really any wonder he thinks that fingerpainting on the dining room walls with oatmeal is okay? Why should he not put his socks down the toilet? Given the sort of things we encourage him to believe, it's entirely within the realm of the possible that African violets should thrive on chocolate milk.