Things I tried to get away with

Did you know that Nova Scotia's Ann Murray composed and sang the song "Day Tripper," which the Beatles later turned into a derivative-sounding hit?

I have a 12-man toboggan. My dad built it from a sugar maple for my six sets of twin brothers, all of whom were tragically killed (we presume) when they disappeared on their 12-man snomobile in the middle of a terrible blizzard in Saskatchewan, where they attended boarding school for hockey stars. No one uses that toboggan anymore--in fact, no one is even allowed to see it. The pain is too great.

My birthday is really not in March. it's in December. It was changed because my Grandfather died on my birthday and no one could bear to celebrate such a happy occasion (my birthday) on such a sad anniversary. This makes me the oldest person in the class. But let's not talk about it in front of my mom. It brings back such pain.

My dad shot himself in the foot to avoid shooting his commanding officer during the War. He had been brainwashed by the Nazis but struggled against it heroically and thwarted their terrible plan at great personal cost.

I am a member of Mensa. I would be President of Mensa but you have to be at least 15. So maybe next year.

I can drive. I have a blue Corvette at my grandmother's farm in Saskatchewan.

Carla was crowned Miss Calgary Community Association because she was wearing magic blue eyeshadow that transmitted the thought "pick me" -- the judges were powerless against her.

Since I was born I have been promised in marriage to a prince in Russia. Pretty soon I will have to go and begin my public duties there. I'm taking Russian lessons. Spacebo.

xbhytchdjeihe is Ukrainian for "Merry Christmas"

My poems have been published in the New York Times. I write under the pen name e.e.cummings. "e e" stands for "elizabeth's elder", which I am.

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So why does it strike me as so remarkable that my two-year-old should try to convince me that Gramma gave him permission to eat 7 chocolate chip cookies before dinner. WHY.