Down the Drain

Roughly half the time, I manage to convince myself that I am a goal-oriented, successful entrepreneur with a promising career, even if that career happens to be taking place in my charming bungalow and not a metallic highrise downtown with the rest of the grownups. Today wasn't part of that fractional reasoning. It went a little something like this:

Man with Pots of Cash, Willing to Part With More to Retain My Services: "Lorraine, you start thinking about how much more you'd like to do, and how you'd like to be compensated for it."

Me: "Thank you, S., I would be glad to play a bigger role in your growing company."

Lief: "POO COMING!"

MWPOCWTPWMTRMS: "I beg your pardon?"

Me: "I'm listening to a marketing pod cast, sorry. So, I'll get to work on those templates. . . . ."

Lief: "Look at my ENORMOUS POO, Mommy."

Me: ". . . Templates. . . .what was I saying, oh yes. . . The first template will be for meeting plans. . . ."

MWPOCWTPWMTRMS: "Splendid."

Lief: "My hands are all sticky, mommy. It's poo. MOMMY, I HAVE POO ON MY HANDS."

Me: "And then, I'll try to get the daily email template. . . . HOLD STILL FOR PETE'S SAKE."

MWPOCWTPWMTRMS: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Oh, I was talking to a stubborn paperclip."

Lief: "I'm not a paper clip, Lor. I'm a boy."

Me: [furious hand gestures: wash your hands, wash your hands, wash your hands.]

Lief: "I'm going to flush the toilet."

Me: [furious hand gestures: not now, please not now]

FLUSH!!!!!

Lief: "BYE POO! BYE PEE! BYE BIG BROWN POO! POO! POO!"

MWPOCWTPWMTRMS: "Lorraine? Is this a bad time?"

Sigh.