Thinking about John the Baptist again

I wonder what kind of list you get on if you Google things like "dried human tongue nailed to Bible", "skull Damascus", "skull Yorkshire", "severed right arm Egypt" and "Montenegro"?

Cause I'm on that list.

I'm reading a book called "What Happy People Know" mostly because I like to make fun of happy people, and knowing what they know might make my taunting more targeted. The author claims that you should be able to summarize yourself in 25 words or less and that this summary should be something memorable and positive that you can use as an elevator pitch to yourself when times get tough.

"I'm a middle-European baroness in disguise as a suburban mother; my fabulousness twinkles in the gin, the candlelight gleaming on my tiara, and the azure directness of my blue blue eyes."

31 words -- I think (that would be the gin there). Maybe happy people would be even happier if they had more than 25 words to work with.

Thinking about John the Baptist

I once saw a Bible on which was nailed the leathery tongue of John the Baptist. Or at least that was the story (remember that if all the little pieces of Christ's foreskin claimed by Cristendom were stitched together, JC would very clearly indeed be seen as the Son of God). The tongue looked like beef jerky, dried and curled at the edges as though at its last living moment it were licking cream from J the B's upper lip.

I just saw a photo of a piece of skull as well as the right arm of John the Baptist. They're in Constantinople.

I have just seen the right hand of John the Baptist. It's in Montenegro. In the summer of 2006 it took a little tour of Russia, Belarus and Ukraine before returning in July to Montenegro. Nice! Everyone needs a vacation.

Hands up if you're confused: If you're ever in Scetes, Egypt, head out to the Coptic Orthodox Monastery of Saint Macarius the Great and take a yoohoo at the right hand of John the Baptist.

The severed head of John the Baptist is in San Silvestre de Capite in Rome and, confusingly, in Amiens Cathedral.

Severed head update:It's also buried in Halifax, West Yorkshire, England, Antioch, Ummayad Mosque in Damascus, and somewhere in southern France.

But no mention of a tongue.

My heart aches for the owner of the mystery tongue nailed to that medieval Bible I once saw. (That's got to be one of those sentences never before written.) If richard Brautigan were alive, he'd know what to say about this.